Modern Prophet/Ancient Wisdom: Barbara Brown Taylor

Modern Prophet/Ancient Wisdom:  Barbara Brown Taylor

God, author of Light, teach us to walk in the inner light of your Spirit.  Lead us deep within to reconnect with all you have to show us in darkness and light alike.  Talk to us, we are listening.  Amen

            Barbara Brown Taylor is our modern prophet today.  She is modest in her biography, telling us only that she is a Professor of Religion at Piedmont College in rural northeast Georgia.  We know more however--An Episcopal priest since 1984, she is the author of 13 books, including two New York Times bestsellers, Learning to Walk in the Dark and An Altar in the World. She is a preacher of great note in today’s world and has inspired women and men theology students alike in her quest for authenticity and honesty.  Her books are connected to her life and to ours.  She and her husband Ed live on a working organic vegetable farm in the foothills of the Appalachians with, as she describes it, “wild turkeys, red foxes, two broken down Quarter horses and too many chickens”.  Today, we’ll look at her quest to establish a relationship with the dark. 

            Sociologists and other people who study human behaviors have told us for decades now that it is a very bad idea to teach children to be afraid of the dark.  This leads to, among other things, inherent racism, even among peoples of color; and, reinforces fear as a justification for hatred or mistrust of all things dark.  Sight-impaired people have asked us to stop referring to the negative side of things as ‘darkness’.  In short, Taylor believes that some of our greatest spiritual and personal discoveries are ours to be had in the dark.  Her book is a personal telling of the story of her growing friendship with the dark and she invites us to come along. 

            Now, many of you know that I love to tell stories as part or whole of the sermon.  I just returned from the National Storytelling Festival and came away even more enamored with the story as both art form and passageway to truth that we might not otherwise hear.  So, you guessed it, I could not help but share a story with you today. 

            There was once a young man who longed to become a great spiritual leader among his people.  He was determined.  He studied at the feet of the great leaders—the shamans, the gurus, the theologians, and the mystics.  He longed for recognition as the spiritual leader that he wanted to be.  Now we know that this isn’t the way God chooses spiritual leaders, but the young man refused to believe that he was not called.  The problem was, no one listened to him.  It’s hard to be a leader when you have no followers.  So he set out on a journey to discover what was keeping him from attaining the station of spiritual leader.

            First, he travelled to a different land and spoke with all the leaders he could find.  No one could tell him why his studies hadn’t resulted in a following.  He said all the right things, knew all the right holy verses to quote, and cut a striking figure when he was all dressed up in his ‘leader clothes’.  Then he travelled to another land and another and another.  But the result was always the same.  No one could help him.

            One night, he laid down in despair, and finally drifted off to sleep.  God the Spirit came to him in a dream.  “Do you really want to know what is missing?” asked God.  At that, the young man awakened and said, “Yes, Spirit, I do want to know.”  “No, I mean, do you really want to know?” asked God.  God and the young man went back and forth like this for several moments and finally the young man said, “What do you mean, do I really want to know?  I searched the land over, talked to anyone who would give me their time and spent my fortune on studies and lessons.  Yes, Spirit, I want to know.”  Spirit laughed—God can be like that sometimes—and said, “I want to be sure that you are really ready and able to finish the work you must complete before you can become a leader of your people.”  Now the young man got a little nervous and said, with a little shake in his voice, “What’s the final lesson?”

            “You must learn to live in the dark,” said God.  “Why, I’m afraid of the dark,” said the young man.  “Surely, there is something else I can do.”  “I’m sorry,” said God, “that is what you must learn to do.”  “Why, why must I learn to do this?” asked the young man with quite a big shake in his voice now.  “Because”, said God, “your people walk in the dark at various times throughout their lives; and, you cannot lead where you have not been.  Go away, now, and when you are ready, come back to this place, and we will talk again.” 

            Saddened, the young man got up and continued his travels.  But, this time it was different.  He knew, deep in his heart, that he was running away from what he had to do.  So, back he went.  Before he went to sleep, he said, “Spirit of God, I’m ready.”  Sure enough, he had a dream and God was there.  He awoke and spoke to God.  “You win, I’m back, defeated and ready to learn to live in the dark.  What is next?”  God told him to leave the city and go as far into the country as he could where no lights from neighboring villages would reach him—where no light from fellow wanderers could be seen.  So he set out. 

            Leaving the city, he at first thought, “this is not so hard.”  He did not realize how much the residual glow from the lights in the village was helping him find his way.  Slowly, he walked farther and farther away from the village.  It got darker and darker.  Every time his would think that he had gone far enough, he would come upon the fire of fellow wanderers.  Even when invited to stay the night, he kept walking.  He stumbled, a lot.  He landed on his face more than once; and, finally, he reached it—the place where no light shone except from the stars and the crescent moon.  He sat down.  And began to wait—still comforted by all the stars that he could see and even identify.  Suddenly, the wind shifted and clouds began to quickly move in, placing a mantle over the moon and stars and, it was dark.  Let me say it again.  It. Was. Dark. 

            The young man shut his eyes, he opened them—no difference at all.  It was so dark that it fit the old saying “you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face”.  As he sat, something began to dawn on him—no pun intended, it was a long time until dawn.  “This is nothingness,” he said to no one in particular.  And, God’s Spirit began to lead him through the lesson.  First, he was very afraid, very, very afraid.  Of what, he was not sure.  Mostly, it was the unknowing—what was out there.  What was close and what was far away.  He began to whimper.  “Just sit,” said God.  “I am here”.  “But I can’t see you,” whispered the young man.  “Just sit,” said God.  “I am here”.  And, so, he sat.  As he did, his well-trained mind began to think of everything he had learned in his quest.  Nothing had prepared him for this.  No-thing.  “Just sit,” said God.  “I am here”.  And then he began to think of all the things that could go wrong.  He could be killed just sitting here.  He might never make it home.  Why, there could be an earthquake and a giant gash in the earth could keep him separated from all he knew as familiar.  “Just sit,” said God.  “I am here”.  God did not grow impatient as most of us would have.  Every time the young man grew distraught, sometimes working himself into giant sobs, the quiet voice came.  “Just sit,” said God.  “I am here”. 

            Along about 3:00 a.m., the young man grew quiet.  And, he sat, quietly.  He listened and discovered that he could hear the leaves rustling in some far off trees.  He listened again, and he could hear the small animals of the field moving around.  He realized that if he could hear them, he could know that no large predators were close by as they were not afraid.  He heard the song of the night birds longing for each other.  And he could hear his own breath and sense the miracle of his own body, a part of all creation.  And, he heard God’s voice saying, “Just sit, I am here”.  And it was in the sitting in the presence of God with those terrifying thoughts that taught him a thing or two about darkness.  And, so, he spent the rest of the night, thinking of all the things he was learning about sitting in the dark of life. 

            First, he learned that it was not inherently bad as he had been taught—that in the darkness one found a side of God that one might not find in light of day.  He learned that his internal life seemed more intense in the dark.  With no distractions, he could really hear what he was saying to himself and what he was saying to God.  And, most of all, he learned that God does not desert us in the darkness nor punish us for our doubts.  God is just there.  Always there.  And, so the young man returned to his people a changed man.  No longer young in his understanding of God and considerably more humble in his approach to becoming a spiritual leader.  He had many more experiences of God in the darkness and, each time, he came away stronger and more able to share what he learned.  We may never know whether or not this young man became the spiritual leader he once longed to be; but, we do know that those he touched knew they had been touched by a man who had experienced God in the dark—and that gave them hope. 

            May we learn to walk in the dark and share our talks with God with the world.  Amen and amen and Namaste.