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Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Heal My Heart 7-28-13



God, we are all ears today.  Send your Holy Spirit to enlighten and encourage us to dare to reach and receive your divine healing.  Your sacred spirit calls us to come close and listen.   We are fully here in this place—alive and aware of your presence.  Amen
I am a person who has sought after healing from adolescence.  I knew, before I knew much else about God, that it was in God that I would finally find my yearning for wholeness realized.  As I have told you before, I tried it all—healing services, every book on healing known to humankind, it seems, tapes, CD’s, holistic doctors, everything I could find that promised healing.  And, all the time I knew it came from God—I just didn’t know how.  In my sixth decade of life, I have come to understand much about healing and the relationship between my body, the Body of Christ, and God, the creator.         
I have, most importantly, come to understand three things:
·        I have come to understand that the God who created me did so exactly to plan.  I do not have to change who I am to be whole.  And that is about far more than just sexuality.  It seems that I have spent my life apologizing to someone or another about something or another.  I am a well-practiced apologizer.  In fact, I have the art of apology down so well, that I hardly notice when I am apologizing again.  And, what do I know now?  I know that the fine art of apologizing is not one of the “Gifts” of the Spirit.  Are you an apologizer, too—perhaps for your past, your sexuality, or spirituality?  Perhaps you apologize for needing feedback and connection in this life.  Or perhaps you find yourself apologizing simply for being.  Now hear this—this is the good news through the grace of God—there is no need for you to apologize to the world for who are and what you need.  I believe that God wants us to save our “I’m sorries” for the occasional step on the toe, or angry word, or the bump in the grocery check-out line; or for the, hopefully rare, disagreements or misunderstandings.        
             Think about it.  Do you apologize or say “I’m sorry” a lot, you may be ready to stop and see if your apologies come from a tender heart determined to mend the everyday hurts of life or from a broken and fearful heart yearning for acceptance and relationship with others.  The first step to heart-healing comes in the complete embrace of ourselves exactly as we are in this moment.   God calls us to pause and think together, “God, you created me and love me.  I am beloved and loveable just as I am.” 
·                         Is there someone you need to forgive in order to heal your heart?  God understands how hard it is to forgive.  It must pain the Spirit of God and the Order of the Universe to forgive us over and over again, but Sacred Wholeness through Divine Love allows no room for resentment or offense.  This then is the message that we receive—being in the state of divine wholeness, where our hearts are healed, leaves no room for unforgiving thoughts, bitterness, or anger.  Do you have room in your heart for Sacred Wholeness or is your heart full of the record of all of life’s offenses which, stewing together like a giant boiling pot of toxins, crowd out the possibility of God’ healing work in your heart?   Forgiveness comes hard unless we allow God to soften our hearts and help us say, “I forgive and forgive and forgive—God, teach me to forgive as soon as I feel the anger or hurt start to build so that there is always room for your Sacred Wholeness in my heart.
·                                             The third thing that I’ve learned along the way is that I can’t heal my own heart.  Only God can pour Sacred Wholeness into the darkest parts of my heart—the deep recesses where hidden pain still lies waiting to steal my peace away.  And so, I have begun to allow God to show me those places—and that isn’t always pleasant.  But this I know, when I allow God to shine the Holy Light of compassion into those bruised and scarred places, I am clearing the way for more and more of the gift of Sacred Wholeness.  I used to begrudge this work—whether I did it alone or with another—but now I rejoice when I can clear the next room and allow God’s light to be permanently on.  Sherrie and I have been moving—ugh—and we both long for the day when everything is in place and the house is whole.  It is with this same longing that I approach the healing of my heart—bit by bit—even box by box—it all becomes whole.
               There is a poem by Esther Yff-Prins that is a beautiful telling of this process.  It is brief and I would like to read it to you—I invite you to close your eyes:
Open
Slowly, the descent begins,
Moving down,
Down into the
Corridors of my heart.
Tenderly, gently,
Consent unbars the door
Of a hidden chamber.

Now I touch the
Breath of my soul;
Taste the depth of
My longing;
Hear the echoing
Silence within.

Now I encounter
The welcome
Of the Divine,
Pulsating, poignant,
Irresistible.

Awed by the
Language of God
At the center of my being
I linger, embraced
In wordless benediction,
Sheltered in the Sacred.

               Hmmm, “Sheltered in the Sacred.”  What does that truly mean?  I believe that one pitfall we may fall into in this process of allowing God to heal our hearts is to imagine that a healed heart is a completely new and shiny heart.  While God makes all things new, God does not take away the learning and growing that our formerly broken and shattered hearts have given to us.  There is an interesting story; I don’t recall the source, about a village where a young person stated with great pride that they had the most beautiful, flawless, sparkling clean heart.  An older, wiser person challenged the younger.  Through the magic of ancient story-telling, the crowd looked at the older one’s heart.  It beat strong and smooth, but the group saw that it was full of scars, one scar after another.  There were holes in places and some places where pieces had been put back in the holes but didn’t quite fit right.  The older one looked at the younger one and said, “I would never trade my heart for yours. Every scar represents a person I’ve given my love -- I tear out a piece and give it to them. Sometimes they give me a piece of their broken heart, which I fit along jagged edges. When the person doesn’t return my love, a painful gouge is left. Those gouges stay open, reminding me that I love these people too. Perhaps someday they will return and fill that space.”  God heals our hearts and transforms our regrets into gratitude and our brokenness into joy. 
              
               This acknowledgement that we must allow God to heal our hearts is integral to becoming a church of radical inclusion.  We enter into Sacred Wholeness not just for our own pleasure, but also so that we can lead others through the same process.  As more and more people seek and find this church as an oasis of true welcome, healing, comfort, and community, we must be ready—ready to offer welcome and healing, comfort and community.  Jesus tells us, in the scripture we heard today, that what comes out of our mouths is the most important as it comes from the heart.  We do not want to be like the Pharisees who, having no authentic experience of God’s Sacred Wholeness, would, instead focus on rules and conditions—pushing the less acceptable to outside the circle of believers.  We seek to have what it takes to lead others to God’s reign of justice—justice for the world and justice for ourselves, but we cannot expect people who still yearn for Sacred Wholeness—that gift from God—to stand for justice and peace.  And in this standing for justice and peace, we make a difference in the world.  We stand as healed and whole people ready to invite others to that same circle of healing and wholeness so that they can stand for justice and peace as well.  And, as we draw the circle wider and wider, we must all begin to take an active role in the welcoming and telling.
               Our Native American Healing Prayer this morning keeps our focus right—the one who prays does so to be able to serve—and ends the prayer like this:  Mother, heal my heart so that I can see the gifts of yours that can live through me”.  And, so, together we pray in that same spirit, Mother, Father, Creator God, Great Spirit of Healing and Health, make us whole in this moment, teach us to value our own wholeness always over anger and pain, and show us the way to welcome others to this great circle of Sacred Unity and Love.  And all God’s people said, amen and amen.

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