I’ll
be honest. This is not a sermon about
the work of Brian McLaren. It was
supposed to be; but, it is not. It is a
sermon, however, that is inspired by his work, and the words of Jesus. Brian McLaren is one of the voices of
Progressive Christianity and one of the authors of some of the Living the
Questions materials that we have been using for over a year now. He encourages us to ask questions more than
give answers. He calls us most of all to
an authentic faith—one that we learn for ourselves in our experiences with
God. In his book, Naked Spirituality, he calls us to stand naked in front of God and
see for ourselves who we are in God’s presence and notice what God is doing in
the world—in our world and in our life.
Jesus, does he not, calls us to the same kind of worship—in spirit and
in truth he says—no more arguing over the details, enter only into true
religion—the kind we have when we stand before God with nothing more than who
we are.
Now,
for more honesty. In the current
situation that we find ourselves in as a faith community, I, as your spiritual
leader, cannot stand naked before God, before I stand in front of you and share
my truth with you. I understand that
after last week very few of us viewed our community as moving toward resolution
and it is imperative that we address that today. So, I am going to share my heart with
you. I ask those of you who have
determined that you do not trust me to put that assumption aside for these few
moments when I speak to you as your pastor.
If this is your first Sunday, I will not apologize for this sermon. Hear it and use it to know that this is a
church that loves and takes responsibility for healing and caring.
It
is time for the hurting to stop. Let me
say that again, more strongly—the pain and hurting must stop now. We must all commit to stop bruising each
other with words, looks, and whatever other ways we have been employing to make
our own hurt known; thereby hurting others in return. I am your spiritual leader at least for a
while longer; and, while some of you dislike my leadership style or some of my
decisions, I am the person that God has intended to be here today as the leader
of this spiritual community. Please,
help me, help us, find a way to be the Open Circle that we all once knew and
loved. It isn’t about ‘winning’ or
losing. There is no triumph in the
destruction of peace and sanctuary for those who long to come to this place as
a place of safety and serenity. And, I
also want you to know, that I trust us all to do this. I do, in the spirit of openness and honesty
want to say a few words about where we are now.
First
of all, I want you to know that I do not believe that it was the intention of
any group or any person to deliberately bring pain and conflict to this
congregation. That being said, many sad
things have come to pass. This is what I
believe: it no longer matters “who
started it” in the childlike language of one sibling tattling on another. If you believe that it does matter, please
pray mightily about it as you must let go of that notion if you are to join us
all on the path of healing.
Secondly,
while I won’t say much about this here, I think we got some mixed messages
about the nature and process of the ‘intervention’ from UFMCC. The intervention stage did not include
mediation; and, it would appear that the process so far has brought an increase
in conflict. I can assure you that this
was not my intention nor the intention of the Board as a whole when we
solicited their help. I, personally,
deeply regret that doing what we thought would help, brought greater pain.
One
of the things that is interesting to me is that both “sides” if we have to use
that language thought that the report was, in some way, unfair or heavy-handed
toward them. I don’t know if that is the
mark of a good assessment or not; I just know that people were hurting at the
end of the meeting. I left last Sunday
broken hearted—literally broken hearted.
Hearing people’s tone and distrust was incredibly difficult. I, like all of you, love this church; and, to
sit in such a pit of pain in the very place we are to worship in freedom and
praise, did something to me and I know it did to you as well. We walked out of here a deeply sorrowed
people—no matter where you stood in the conflict the pain was there.
Perhaps,
that is our common ground at this point.
We all want the pain to stop. My
friends, my dear friends, there is only one way for the pain to stop and that
is for us to stop it. All of us, right
now, have the ability to ensure that no one else is ever hurt or re-hurt by
this conflict that has been raging for the past few weeks. Again, I remind you: we can make it stop and the report will at
least help us move forward in putting the pieces back together.
Now,
as for my leadership—it is a difficult, extremely painful thing to have one’s
integrity questioned. Those of you, who
know me well, know that my integrity is precious to me and even in the midst of
confusion and turmoil; I strive to allow that sense of integrity and
authenticity to direct my every move. I
sought and suggested to the Board that we seek help from the denomination
because I believed that bringing in someone from the outside was the most
appropriate thing to do and I stand by that position. However, my prayer that I be somehow able to
lessen the hurt along the way was not answered, at least in a way that I
understood. That’s ok, it happens
sometimes when God has other ideas and waits for us to catch up. Just as importantly, we all failed each other
and reconciliation will require us to do some forgiving and to do it quickly so
that we may all move on. I want you all
to know, whether you can hear it and accept it today or not, that I forgive you
all. I forgive those of you who didn’t
know the harm that meeting separately would bring. I forgive those of you who are part of Open
Circle and, yet, chose not to lend your gifts to the community when we needed
you most. I even forgive the weekly
FaceBook critiques and caustic remarks.
I forgive you and I forgive myself for not always knowing the best way
to proceed. And I do so, not because you
asked me to, but because I need to—for myself, for my heart, and for my very
soul.
Finally,
I want to speak just briefly about my role here at Open Circle. Being a founding pastor is a gift above gifts
and a joy above other joys. It’s unlike
anything I have ever done before.
Knowing that there will be an Open Circle after I move from this area
and even after my body no longer holds this soul—a place that loves and
comforts and offers salvation from the world’s hatred and despair—knowing that
fills my heart to full and over-flowing.
As you can well guess, founding pastors are protective, perhaps overly
so, because we love this little child of God, this growing incarnation of Christ
and this spirit-filled canvass upon which great things will be painted. Initially, my plan was to be your pastor for
10 years. I’m not sure how I thought I
was going to do that, but it was my intention.
God has other plans. I am aware
that some of you shared with Liz that I had changed in last couple of
years. You may well be right, but it has
not been for the reasons you may have assigned to it. As my serious health issues have
deteriorated, I know that my energy and passion may have lessened as well. I wish that were not so; however, it is. I believed that I was keeping that
hidden. Best laid plans…and all
that.
God
has something better for both Open Circle and its founding pastor. I must tell you that I believe that it is in
the best interest of both Open Circle and me that I move my retirement up by
several months. I have shared this with
the Board of Directors and they agree. Therefore,
my last Sunday will be Sunday, November 30 although I will preside at the
interfaith AIDS Vigil on December 1st. I will be on leave through the month of
December. Nan, Fin and I will move to
Asheville, NC during the month of December.
We chose Asheville because the air is crisp and, yes, sometimes, cold,
and God whispers constantly in the leaves of the trees that cover the majestic
mountains in the area.
I look forward
to the wonderful things that Open Circle will do with the guidance of new
leadership and I eagerly anticipate sharing with you my improving health and God’s
unfolding direction in my life. My you
all be blessed and may we love one another as God loves us. Amen and amen and Namaste.
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